Darren's story

“I used to play squash until I was about 80,” casually notes Darren. Having been active throughout his life, he sees age as no barrier. Even having a pacemaker fitted has not fazed him: “I don’t notice a discernible difference. I’m still active and I do what I want to do,”

Now in his late 80s, Darren has been together with his wife, Rebecca, for what he describes as “65 really fantastic years”. Just over three years ago though, Rebecca developed dementia which has most noticeably affected her with short-term memory loss and has led to Darren needing to care for her increasingly.

In spite of this, Darren recognises the important role exercise plays for them both and they have continued their passion for playing bowls despite Rebecca’s caring needs and an ongoing ankle issue Darren contends with. Having played bowls twice a week for about 14 years, they are seasoned players.

Bowls, as Darren explains, is more of an active sport than some people realise. “You’re up and bending down a lot because at the end of each end, you’re picking up the mats and the woods and then of course, you’re bending down to deliver the woods and standing up again. Then you repeat the process, so it is quite active. When we come home these days, we sort of flop out.”

For Darren and Rebecca, the sport also provides a vital social outlet. “I enjoy the banter and the friendship of the people there,” explains Darren. “What drives me to go back is that I know that it’s good for Rebecca – it’s good for both of us, actually. 

“If you tuck yourself away – what is it that they say – use it or you lose it, so I think it’s critical that we keep that up. If I could go dancing, I’d do that as well.” For Darren, it’s about having the right frame of mind and not letting any fears about perception hold you back. “I don’t feel that I’m absolutely flaked out. I know I’m old, but I’m very lucky. We’re mostly on our feet. The social side is as important as the game itself.” 

Darren explains that he had a special boot fitted to help give him more comfort and enable him to walk better: “Back in the middle of July in 2019, I had an operation on my ankle to pin it and it’s still giving me trouble. It’s like a boot from the Star Wars troopers up to my knee.

“One of the problems with the boot is that it makes my right leg about an inch longer than my left, so you can imagine balance and walking are a little bit odd, but I get along with it. We play and I enjoy playing and we play the full three games in the two hours and that’s that.”

So what else spurs Darren on? “I’m absolutely besotted with gardening,” he adds. “We’re very much into walking and gardening. I’ll be out there trimming and planting and mowing the lawn. I don’t have the need to stop doing things, but I do have the essential need to continue doing things and to do more if I can.

“To a certain extent, I have to gee Rebecca up. Most of our friends know that she’s suffering from dementia and they look after her and they’re very complimentary about her because she really is a lovely lady. At the end of the day, we tend to play on the same mat quite a lot so that I can keep an eye on her and reassure as we’re playing.”

Understanding the benefits, Darren is keen to do even more. “My intention is to increase our activities. If it’s only walking into town or something like that. We love garden centres, we love the National Trust. I think I owe it to Rebecca to get out and about a bit more and to give her the opportunity to mix and socialise.”

*Names have been changed.