Rachel's story

Rachel’s experience of caring

For the past eleven years, my life has been a constant adjustment to the challenges that come with being a carer. My partner, Viv, has been battling and living with cancer and undergoing chemotherapy treatments. The routine involves endless appointments, getting used to treatments, and managing side effects. The caregiving journey has been a dance of constant change, flexibility and vigilance.

Caring for Viv has become the central focus of my life. The misconception that caring is only about providing personal assistance overlooks the constant vigilance needed when living with someone you love who’s facing a life-threatening condition. It's impossible to quantify the hours spent caring, especially when you're adjusting your life around medical appointments and the ever-changing needs of your loved one.

Initially, I juggled a full-time job alongside caring responsibilities. However, the demands became too much for a traditional workplace, leading to a redundancy following a restructure in 2019. Despite challenges, I found another job, but the need for time, flexibility, and support remains constant in managing my caring responsibilities. It’s so important that employers prioritise flexibility for their employees with caring responsibilities.

What ‘support’ looks like can vary, but having other people to talk to and support you; friends, family, and some external agencies, is vital. Caring can be very isolating, and carers need more access to specialist and independent support, as well as social support.

As an unpaid carer, uncertainty is a constant challenge. Coping and adjusting expectations become essential skills. Peer support, like the Care for a Cuppa sessions, has been valuable, providing a space to share experiences and find common ground.

Looking back, I'd advise my past self to be prepared for the long haul and to recognise the importance of self-care. The journey is tough, but resilience surprises us, and we find the strength to adapt. It's crucial to reach out for support, knowing that being a carer is an emotional, multifaceted role.

Sometimes you have to push for the support you need. Caring is an activity, and a profession, but it’s also an emotion. I’m a family carer, or an unpaid carer, but I’m also a partner.

At 56, I've learned that caring is a journey of endurance, adaptation, and unexpected strength.

Rachel’s experience of getting more active

The pandemic was a perfect storm for my activity levels. Working from home and shielding Viv limited our outdoor activities, contributing to a sense of inactivity and lethargy. Aside from going to the hospital, we just stayed at home. It’s amazing how quickly you can lose motivation when your routine is disrupted, and we didn’t want to jeopardise shielding.

Two years ago, I discovered Carers Active, a program that provided the motivation I needed to get back into regular physical activity. Setting targets, participating in challenges, and having peer support helped me overcome the inertia that had crept in. This year during Carers Active April (Move into Spring), managed to (only just) achieve my target of 5 30-minute sessions of moderate exercise a week. There was a further challenge during September and October of 150 minutes per week (Carers Active 150) which was expressed, in the accompanying app, as 1200 minutes in total. By mid-October, I was well below the 1200 minutes but I pushed myself and did extra, longer sessions during the last couple of weeks. This marked a turning point in my activity journey.

There’s something quite powerful about signing up to a challenge where you join other people. I like to succeed, especially when I’m accountable to others. Accountability, sponsored events, and the supportive Carers Active community played a crucial role.

Towards the end of the 150 challenge I signed up for 5 free sessions at a local gym, and this really helped me to get my numbers up. I turned a corner. I went from feeling like it was really hard to reach 150 minutes, to exceeding this minimum and doing a lot more exercise. I’ve enjoyed resources found on the Hub or in the Carers Active Facebook group, such as an accessible aerobics DVD recommended by another carer. It’s still early days, but right now I’m more active than I’ve been for many years. I have even started running!

The online platform became a source of motivation, offering tips on relaxation and wellbeing. Recently, the "Get Elfy" campaign was really fun: we’ve been laughing about it every day this Christmas. The activities range from really easy, to some that were more challenging, and the presenter was great at getting us engaged.

I believe Carers Active is a very positive initiative with untapped potential. It accommodates various fitness levels, offering accessible videos that cater to different needs. I've recommended it to others, appreciating its flexibility and inclusivity. Unlike other programmes it doesn’t assume people’s levels of mobility. I think it’s a brilliant resource and as more gets added it gets better and better. Even when I lose motivation I can look at the Hub and find a short activity to do.

To fellow carers, I’d emphasise the importance of acknowledging one's own needs and taking small steps toward being active. It not only benefits physical health but also provides valuable moments for self-care, even in the midst of caregiving responsibilities.

Being active forces you to take a bit a time for you, even when doing it with the person you care for. It makes you feel more able to function. The first steps can feel very hard, but being active really can make you feel a lot better.