“I didn’t know I was a carer. Sounds weird doesn’t it? I never considered that what I do and my current life situation had a title.

“Until very recently, I would introduce myself as a granddaughter who lived with her 98-year-old grandmother and looked after her. I never added it was mainly because the social care system in the UK is non-existent - it felt a bit ‘full on’ for a first meeting.

“Then one evening I fell into an online rabbit hole one, as my grandma watched an episode of Midsomer Murders I’d seen umpteen times, and ended up on the Carers UK website. I read some of their featured carer stories and it slowly dawned on me that I, too, am a carer. An unpaid one at that.

“Let me give you some context; I became a carer by complete accident. At the request of my father, I went to Rochdale in Lancashire to help look after my grandmother just before the COVID-19 lockdown in the UK. He had broken his ankle while he was visiting from France and needed help.

“I remember wheeling my suitcase out of my London flat telling my flatmate it would only be for two weeks. That was three years ago. I have learnt a lot over the past three years and discovered a hidden world, a literally vital army of people who have had to put their lives on hold to care for the ones they love because they have no choice.

“Unpaid carers are alone, exhausted, and ignored. It is a scandal that makes me simultaneously sad and angry.

“The lack of social services and NHS support for people who need it the most is shocking, and all the more infuriating because I know there is another way - I have experienced it. I’m half French, have dual nationality and lived there for several years. France has a similar system to the NHS, as it is also funded by taxpayers and free at the point of use. Crucially, nobody has to sacrifice their lives for their loved ones.

“Recently, a French friend of mine who was astounded at my situation told me that her elderly father who is 94 and suffers from memory loss is able to live in his remote home in the countryside because the system provides three (paid) care worker visits a day, including cleaning, meals deliveries and even regular trips to visit his wife in a retirement home. She can continue to live her life 1,000 kilometres away knowing her father is taken care of. These examples are the norm. This makes me feel even more determined to get unpaid carers in the UK the help and support we need and deserve.

“There isn’t much I can do at my level - I’ve got rather a lot going on as I also work full-time - so I decided to start writing a blog documenting my life as a carer. I purposefully mix in funny stories about my grandmother with the realities of being a carer to make it accessible to a wide range of people. Writing my experiences down has given me a sense of community. I have never met the people who comment on my stories, but the simple fact that they can relate to how I’m feeling is priceless. In the lonely world of a carer, someone saying ‘I know how you feel’ is a huge deal.

“Writing has also given me a purpose to help raise awareness of the issues unpaid carers face and to urge people to make plans for providing care in the future. It is estimated that two thirds of people are likely to take time off work to provide unpaid care at some point during their working life in the UK. Which means there are broadly two categories of people, unpaid carers and soon to-be-unpaid-carers, and I want them to be aware of how tough life can be for us and to prepare as much as possible.

“Being a carer has taught me brutal lessons about resilience, overcoming setbacks, work, loneliness, and shown me what I’m really made of. I’m an exhausted anxious mess most of the time but we carers have a spirit that is hard to squash. Charities like Carers UK, play a vital role in sharing information, a sense of belonging, and raising awareness of our situation.”