“The past 12 months or so have been the most challenging, sad and life changing months of my life. Having cared for my dear mum for the past 11½ years, my role as a carer came to an end on 20 June 2022. The loss was immense and left a huge gaping hole. I felt alone and all at sea. I turned to Carers UK, and I’m so immensely glad that I did. I found a welcoming community of caring people who simply understand. 

“Carers UK really kept me going when I was struggling in the early months of my grief. I joined in Care for a Cuppa sessions and took part in numerous Share and Learn sessions, which gave me a focus and really helped to keep my spirits up. I also made use of the Helpline which was understanding, supportive, knowledgeable and informative. 

“In my first call, I talked about my job situation and got quite upset during the call. I was unemployed when my mum died and struggled for months to feel ready to embark on finding a new job. I was terrified that I would get upset in an interview and not represent myself in the way that I would wish to.  

“By the third call, I informed the volunteer that I had 1) been to London and had queued for 10½ hours with my old childhood friend to pay my respects to the Queen lying in state in Westminster Hall; 2) contacted an employment agency; 3) had two job interviews via video conference; 4) been offered both jobs; and 5) I was starting my new job the following week. I think you will agree that the three calls marked quite a turnaround in my situation and how I was feeling. 

“On starting my new job, I was incredibly nervous. However, I needn’t have worried. My new employer and colleagues have been so kind, welcoming and friendly. It is great to be working once again and lovely to have the chance to socialise with my new colleagues. Since my caring role came to an end, I am now able to put myself first. I hadn’t done that for such a long time to the point that I’d lost sight of myself as I always put my mum first. But now I can say “yes” to things that I could never have said “yes” to before. 

“I’ve had my first night away from the house in 11½ years. It was nothing fancy – just one night at a friend’s house – but it was a huge deal for me. I even went to my first work evening party in many years and had a dance! But I have also had my first Christmas without my mum. Mum would have turned 89 years old on Christmas day. 

“If your caring role has come to an end, take things slowly and at your own pace. Everyone’s grief is different. You’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain - take up any offers of help and support. Get in touch with friends, arrange meet ups and re-establish relationships.  

“When you’re no longer a carer you realise just how much you did for your loved one and what you gave up to fulfil that role. Be super proud and take comfort in knowing that you have done the most amazing thing by caring for your loved one.”